


The break up

by samajamo



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Changkyun loves Jooheon wayy to much, M/M, a mess, but Jooheon apparently didnt, but not really because they broke up, depressing shit, idek what this is supposed to be, jookyun - Freeform, shownu is there for like a second
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-26 01:02:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15652581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samajamo/pseuds/samajamo
Summary: Jookyun breaking up because actually Jooheon is a selfish piece of shit in this.





	The break up

**Author's Note:**

> Listen-  
> idek what this is supposed to be, like prior this day i wrote pure fluff, im telling you period mood swings are no joke. And i wrote this while listening to hella depressing music in the dark.  
> So its not really good but enjoy i guess?? Eventhough im pretty sure no one would enjoy Jookyun breaking up. Anyways i will stop talking nonsense now.
> 
> Song to listen while reading:  
> Michael Schulte - Falling apart  
> (to get this really depressing mood)

Its been 2 months.

2 months since Changkyuns life practically ended. 

2 Months since the person he thought would spend the rest of his life with him broke up with him. 

He didnt expect it. Not at all. He thought their relationship was doing well, he even thought about marriage already, but obviously the other one didnt.

He remembers the day way to clear, the day his life lost his purpose.

It was a rainy day. Changkyun had been working all day, but things werent right. His boss kept complaining about every single thing he did, all he did wrong. All that caused a big argument with his boss. In the end his boss, theyve been working together, fired him and telling him he would be a useless human destined to be a worthless, a mistake in the system. Those words affected Changkyun more than he would have wanted to. 

Devasted he drove home, hoping for the comforting arms of his boyfriend to welcome him when he arrives.

But when he came home he was greeted by an empty apartment. 

Too empty. 

It was too empty.

He noticed that all of Jooheons stuff wasnt found anywhere. He searched around, looked into their shared wardrobe but only his clothes were in it.  
When he goes into the kitchen he noticed a piece of paper laying on the kitchen table.

Hello Changkyun,  
when you read this i will already be gone. I didnt bring it over my heart to say goodbye face-to-face. I can already imagine your sad eyes getting watery and i would not be able to stand that. I hope you understand that this was the only way to leave you. If i had tried talking to you, you would have changed my mind again, begging for another chance and you know i cant say no to you. Not to my precious little Angel. But i had to do this. For the sake of us two. If i dont leave you know we will stay at the point where we are now forever. We would never actually do what we want, we would just adjust everything for our relaionship to work out. But i dont want that. I want us to live, to experience life. I want us to live the life we both deserve. But mine isnt here in this small town where i have no chance to actually do what i want to. I only stayed here because you love it here. You love the little park accross our apartment, the Zoo, the church, your job and being near to your family. Im sorry that i didnt talk to you about that before, that i didnt had the courage to tell you how i actually feel. In the end i only stayed to not hurt you and that is wrong. Im sure you will be able to move on. You have a great future in front of you. A great job and a great family that will catch you when you fall. Again im so sorry that it had to end like this and you dont deserve a goodbye over a simple text and writing this makes me already feel bad. But its for the best. So we can start shining as individuals as a person not as someones boyfriend.  
You know i love songwriting and i decided i want to do that now seriously but you dont fit there, in that life. I hope you understand that. Music is my life and will always my number one. Not that i hated being a teacher but its just not what i am meant to be.  
I break up with you but you will find someone to love again. Im sure of that. I mean your an beautiful human being. Incredibly talented and full of joy, god who wouldnt fall in love with you. Just think that we happened and it was good but we were just not meant to be.  
In Love,  
Jooheon

Changkyun was shaking with his whole body while reading, tears forming as soon as he read the word goodbye.

No.

He cant just break up with him.

Everything was fine, they were fine.

Sobbing, Changkyun lets himself fall down to the ground. What is he supposed to do without him. Jooheon was his safehouse, the one he talked to if he had any insecurities or problems or just wanted to talk about a new game that came out.

Jooheon was his everything, but apparently he wasnt everything for Jooheon. Of course Jooheon had always loved songwriting and producing and when he was younger he wanted to do it a a profession but he became a teacher at the local school. Changkyun thought he was happy with that. He still did music but only exclusively for Changkyun. Writing cheesy lovesongs to incredible rap verses Jooheon could do it all. Changkyun knew his boyfriend was hella talented but he thought this tiny thing they had was enough but it seems like it wasnt. He felt sorry towards Jooheon, not noticing that he loved music more than everything, so much that he wants to do it professionally.

But why didnt he just talk to Changkyun. Hell, Changkyun wouldve done anything for him. Even if it meant moving away and finding a new job. Jooheon was his life. Making him happy has been his goal since day one. But he didnt succeed. He didnt make him happy. He didnt let Jooheon do what he wanted to do the most.

As he keeps sitting on the cold floor, the tears fade away. In the end only emptyness stayed. His whole body felt numb after crying for hours.

He really failed in life didnt he? He lost his job because he cant fucking do anything right and he stopped his boyfriend from doing what he really wanted to do.

He sat on the floor the whole night, staring into nothing.

The next day Shownu, a friend of him came by because they originally wanted to meet up but Changkyun didnt show up.

He was shocked when he found the young boy sitting on the cold kitchen floor, looking like death holding onto a paper as if his life would depend on it.

Shownu tried to talk to Changkyun trying to find out what happened but the other one stayed silent.

The only thing he can do is carry Changkyun to his bed and hoping he will sleep and feel better when he wakes up.

But he doesnt.

He stays miserable.

Its been 2 month now.

Changkyun lost a lot of weight, refusing to eat most of the time. His mom tries forcing him to fucking eat so he at least stay alive.

"Changkyun you need help. Please let me help you. I miss your smile"

"Im fine mom" he reponds, his eyes full of emptyness leaving his mom helpless.

Hes lives with his mom again. After loosing his job he wasnt able to find the strength to get a new job.

_________________________________

He stays like this for almost a year. 

But one day he finally decides to change something. Jooheon wanted him to live his life and most important do what he wanted to do.

Since he was a kid, Changkyun loved books. At first he only read them but at the age of 10 he started writing his own stories. When he didnt like the ending of some books he just wrote a better one himself. When he met Jooheon he kinda let that hobby die, devoting his whole time to him.

Now that he left he didnt know what he should do with all the time. 

After a year of being a total disaster he started writing again. Writing down all his memories with him, all the ups and downs and the end. 

When he finished he sent it to a printing agency they actually accepted it. The book did well. Better than well it became a Bestseller. 

But it didnt bring him happiness. Yes it got a little better but it will need more time till he can truly smile again.

Jooheon was doing well too. His songs topped the charts since his Debut as a songwriter and rapper 1 1/2 years after their break up. He seemed happy, at least in front of the cameras.

Maybe Changkyun really wasnt the one for Jooheon.

But Jooheon definitely was the one for Changkyun.


End file.
